There was a question posed to me –

‘’If someone does good for us, why do we suspect his/her intent, why it is not easy to believe that the person is really a good person and has an honest intent to help us.  The person may not have any dishonest motive or expectation.’’

It took me some time to respond but slowly I got into the flow and started explaining –

We have started rationalising everything. We use more brain than heart. We have become so objective in our approach that for everything we try finding out reason and our life experiences help us guide our reasoning. Our growing environment and education begin to drive us to have an opinion on this and we start finding logical reasoning to defend whatever we feel. We begin with negatives in mind and question why will people help us without reason.

Behavior is caused by reason, internal or external. Psychology academics have pondered on this in time and space, in volumes and versatilities. But do we really need to rationalise every action, every response, and each kind of behavior.

I think Indian value system and philosophy has been predominantly subjective in nature.  We have not been into measurement of every relation and act. We have more used our heart than mind. We do because we like doing it, it gives us boost, we feel happy in making others happy. It has been outcome oriented. So the question of finding out reason does not occur instantly. It comes late.

Western thinking has been dominated by objectivity and measurements.  It uses more of mind than heart. Our scriptures have provided rich narratives of knowledge and wisdom, discourses and dialogues. It has been more on the outcomes than output. In the process of achieving economic growth and measuring progress, we have gone on valuing relationships and finding the capital value of the invisible hand.  (also read – satisfaction/happiness relationship)

Our ancestors told us to respect elders and obey them because it was believed that their virtues are stronger and when we are children, we should listen to them. And as we grow, we should develop our thinking in an environment where intangibles lead and knowledge dominates. We should think from the point of view of well-being of people and take decisions leading to improve conditions of life and living. We should not harm any being and value relationships.

This kind of thinking believed that people are good by birth and they would always think good of humanity and help people as they have grown in an environment of peace, harmony, and brotherhood. So in that kind of scenario, it never came to our mind to suspect why people would do us a favor. It was a given thing that in times of need, there would be people helping us.  And exceptions aside, in general people would be positive in their approach and support the cause if they are convinced.

Asian culture and value system has been collectivist in nature quite contrary to the western thinking which travels around individualistic behavior. For us in India image of self gets determined by the society. In almost all our actions and behavior we are cautioned as to what would society think on what we do. The premise of building society encompasses the values of interdependence between individuals and society.

Community living has been the cornerstone of many subcultures residing in this geographic region.  One of our researches provide us evidence that across India people think that community feeling, sense of togetherness, and attending social gatherings makes them happier as compared to other things.  These were their priority areas for leading happy and peaceful life.

What is going to be the impact of a decision on society or group of people is almost impossible to measure in monetary terms. This is subjective, relative, and immeasurable. We have not really bothered as to reason why one is doing what one is doing.

As we started following western model of development and started measuring everything and putting value, we began to rationalise all kind of behavior and act. We developed a desire to find out the reason as to why someone known or unknown shall ever be good to us, until he or she has some selfish interest.  (also read – Behaviour, Finance and Markets)

India lives in villages. And community living and social values are much closely observed in such places. Urbanisation and dominance of market forces have somehow ruined that internal support system. Migration from rural areas to urban areas is believed to be the sign of development. The more the migration the more casualty to collectivist structure. The more we respond to market forces, the more we compromise on our value system and get into rationalising our acts and measure the outcomes of our behavior. (also read – Happiness, Money & Positive emotions)  (if interested in hindi poetry, you may click here to read one of my poems – मनुष्य और बाज़ार)

It is interesting. Adam Smith believed favor is a commodity so it can be bought or sold. So there is a price for favor, which at times gets compensated through reciprocation.

So I told the person asking the question mentioned in the beginning of this post that we rationalise everything and major reason of our suspicion starts with a simple attitude that people in general don’t do anything good until they get some benefit out of that act.

Let us come out of suspicious mindset and appreciate positivity around us.  There are many who believe in our well-being with good intent.